Letting Go

Generally, January is about looking forwards. But sometimes that is difficult to do without also looking backwards as well. And sometimes that leads to uncomfortable decisions. Decisions about letting go of big parts of your life. Possibly even parts that you don't want to let go of.

It's like that pair of size 4 pants in your closet. You know you'll never fit into them again. And even if you could that 80's style is so outmoded you wouldn't want to, the fit is so uncomfortable they don't make you happy, and the material so worn there is nothing of substance left. They're pants that fit 20 years ago, but which are no longer suitable.

And sometimes, it is sad to say, relationships are the same. You understand. You make allowances. You empathize and support as best you can. But there are only so many calls and visits you can make, only so much effort you can put into sustaining a relationship, only so much energy you can allow the other person to take from you without giving back...and eventually - eventually - you reach the tipping point where you have to let go.

As I write this, from this side of the point of view, I am realizing that I am also guilty of being the one who takes. I have friends who I don't call often enough, don't make plans with often enough, and don't have enough time for on a regular basis. And I recognize the excuses: we are busy, we need downtime, we are away, we are at soccer...karate...bookclub...that weekend. All true. And none of it relevant.

Perhaps good comes out of all this then. A reminder that as much as it is important to let things go...even with the hope that they will one day be stronger again...it is also important to reciprocate the efforts of those who do value you, lest you in turn become the one who is let go.