Alike

This post is part of Capital Mom's Monday Moments series. It also follows along quite nicely from my posts about Harry Potter.

In late spring, we had a Harry Potter themed dinner, rustling up recipes from the countless websites dedicated to this kind of thing. While Erik and I were out cutting stalks of rhubarb to make a lovely rhubarb apple crumble, he said to me, Mom, you're just like Mrs. Weasley.

I have to be honest, my first thought wasn't all that charitable. I mean look at the way Molly dresses! But Erik expanded on his statement: how we live in an old rambling house and there are always good smells in the kitchen and lots of food to eat. He mad especial mention of the pies (Erik really likes pies). And somehow in his 11 year old mind, he equated the homemade pies I make for him, the cobblers and crisps and the sausages and mashed potatoes, lasagne and roast chickens with the comfortable hominess of Molly Weasely, mother to (among others) Ron and Ginny and Fred and George.

I saw it for the compliment it was. And since then I've reflected on and off about how, actually, being like Molly is a good thing.

She's protective of her family, but not overbearing. She puts her foot down, but lets them go and do what needs to be done. She keeps her children on their toes and holds them accountable (We tried to shut him in a pyramid but Mum spotted us - Fred and George) without holding them back.

Molly doles out love and discipline and caution and support in good measure. Her children think she worries too much but they also respect her, and want to stay on her good side. She in turn respects each of her children and their friends and appreciates their individual gifts. Even when Fred and George drop out of school to start a joke shop, Molly gives them grief and then, having done so, stands behind them.

And when it matters most, she is not afraid to stand up for those she loves. Witness the cheering that went on in the theatres during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 when Molly stares down Bellatrix...she is a force to be reckoned with at that moment.

So am I like Molly Weasley? To be honest, I hope so.

The Lunch Tramp

Welcome to the Won't You Be My Neighbour series, started by Amy of The Never True Tales. I was introduced to this series by Christine of Coffee and Commutes, so please head over to both those sites to meet some more great people. Today's guest blogger is my friend, Keitha Fisher, aka The Lunch Tramp.

The Lunch Tramp

Denise asked me to be a guest blogger a couple of weeks ago and I jumped right in to say yes. I’m a frequent reader of View From the Glen and I love the normalcy of the kids and the dogs and the after school activities and the husband. Our own normal is canine-free but I like to think I’m doing a not terrible job of balancing the hectic with the wonders of H learning to spell her name and E discovering that if you follow the instructions that come with the legos, you can actually build the thing on the box.

Until quite recently, I had the 50 hour/wk job to add to the hectic pace. At the beginning of last summer, I made the decision after leaving the job I thought I would love but quickly discovered that I loathed, that I would not jump into the next thing. I’d gone from fulfilling but time consuming self-employment to time reasonable but dreadfully boring corporate employment to frenetic time sucking management in just under three years and frankly, I wanted to take some time to figure out if there might not be something to be said for not doing any of those things for a while.

Given that this is a blog posting and not an autobiography, I’ll leave a bit of a blank here (that I will spend a bit of time writing about on my own blog) but suffice to say that taking some time off to volunteer for some of the organizations I’m passionate about and to sit on some of the committees I’d always thought I’d like to contribute to if only I had the time has given me a multitude of opportunities to consider when thinking about my next career move. AND it has given me time to lunch.

Yes, lunch as a verb. I hadn’t given this activity a whole lot of thought until a few weeks ago when I wrote on facebook that I “thought my four lunch dates were all pretty spectacular.”

As you may imagine, this status update caused a bit of a furor. In all, there were 19 comments about this, including but not limited to: 4 people at once or 4 single lunch dates in an afternoon? Either way I may have to judge you as a lunch tramp.

And so, the Lunch Tramp was born. (see business card for details)

While I’d done a fair amount of lunching prior to having the title bestowed to me via facebook, it was not until I’d lived with the title (and designed the business card) that I took the time to actually think about the social ramifications of being a professional lunch enthusiast. There are two schools of thought about this lifestyle choice (okay, there are probably more – but for the purpose of this blog, there are two.) The first, often said with dripping sarcasm is, “Oh, isn’t it nice to be able to drop your kids off at school and have nothing to do all day.”

My response to that is, “Um, yes, it’s sort of awesome.”

The ensuing pause where the sarcastic speaker takes a moment to wonder whether or not I detected the sarcasm is one of those things money can’t buy – and I’m a pretty big fan of those types of things.

The second response, the one that comes from almost everyone who knows me and who realizes that my “radical sabbatical” is hardly the time off others assume it to be is very different. Brevity is not my strong suit so I’ve done my best to pare it down: “Wow! Good for you! I wish I made time for myself to do this kind of thing. You should write a book about how much you’ve learned about yourself and others being the Lunch Tramp!”

Sadly, I have given my status a Lunch Tramp a shelf life. I have made a decision to return to work in the coming months which will clearly put a damper on the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed. However, I would be remiss to leave you wondering what there is to learn taking a six month hiatus from “work” for the sake of discovering “work I enjoy” that still pays the bills.

• People who take the time to have lunch with little to no agenda often leave with a smile – which often results in a really cool follow-up email

• Almost everyone will say yes to a lunch date

• Everyone understands when you cancel lunch because you have a sick child at home

• You can meet people you’ve never met before at lunch and laugh until you can’t breathe

• You can meet people who will offer you a job on the spot

• You can meet people who will call you in the coming weeks to offer you a job

• You can inspire other people to take an hour or two for themselves they may not have taken before

• You can be asked to write a fun blog entry for a friend

• If you throw out a lunch invitation to random people you know on a sort-of basis and assemble them together, it can be entertaining to not just those at the table but for pretty much everyone in the listening area

• There are pretty amazing people out there waiting to have lunch with you

Where the future of the Lunch Tramp lies is still undetermined. I’m thinking that regardless of having a real job again soon, the name can live on. Almost everyone I lunch with actually has a job to return to – which means I can and will do the same. That said, this time to just be wherever with whomever has taught me there’s a lot more to people than their jobs, although I gotta be honest with you – if someone said they’d pay me to be the Lunch Tramp full time I’d be all over it!

Thanks, Keitha for your always inspiring words. When she is not guest posting, lunching, or looking after her twins, Keitha does blog occasionally herself. Drop by and say hello.

The Delights of the North

This is the second of my weekly contribution to the Won't You Be My Neighbour series, started by Amy of The Never True Tales. Today my guest blogger is Lindsay Below, a once-local writer friend of mine who moved to the great white north last year.

 For those who don’t know me, my name is Lindsay. I’m an author and one of the privileged few who can claim to be in Denise’s critique group. We used to meet in person to discuss our recent works-in-progress. Unfortunately, that ceased when I relocated from Southern Ontario to Iqaluit, Nunavut -- the meeting in person, that is. Thankfully, our critique group lives on even though I’m only there by proxy.

Introductions aside -- sit back, relax, and let me regale you with some of the things I’ve noticed since I moved to the picturesque North:

• It’s only “picturesque” in the winter. By the time the snow melts away in May, I’m left with a city of brown. Formerly snow-capped brown mountains, brown dirt with the occasional scrawny brown weed, and heck, let’s throw in the muddy brown water of Frobisher Bay (I haven’t gotten close enough to say that for sure, but I can assume). Plus, by the time the snow is gone, I can see this brown landscape in glaring detail due to the 24-hour sunlight.
• Every now and again, someone will run into a power grid with his skidoo or four-wheeler and knock out the power to the city. In the summer, that’s just fine and dandy (see: 24-hour sunlight). But in the winter, I have the opposite problem (24-hour darkness). I guess that’s why there are so many births in the fall.
• My house is built for the hard winters, with thick insulation. This means that in the summer, I might just suffer heat stroke from staying inside.
• I live on a street with no name, as does 99% of the rest of the city. There are many nameless streets. If I were to direct someone to my house, I would tell them, “The red one on the hill.” Kidding. I also give the building number. But not having a street name does cause problems when directing someone to mail something to me. They go bonkers when I just give them the building number and P.O. Box.
• Note to all forms that demand no P. O. boxes in the “address” section: There are no mail boxes in Iqaluit. Only post office boxes.
• On an optimistic note, this town does have one named street. The Road to Nowhere (yes, it has a street sign reading that). Want to guess where it leads? You got it, nowhere.
• Concrete tends to crack down the middle up here, ergo my house is built on stilts instead of a foundation. This means that when it gets windy, the house sways.
• In order to keep the water from freezing, the pipes are heated to near boiling point in the winter. That means that the tap water is always warm! I could always buy bottled water at the store for ridiculous prices.
• Just because it needs to be said, my first grocery bill (for two people) was to the tune of $700. I didn’t buy caviar, just regular groceries.
• If you need to hone your skills in bargaining, fly up here. You can do so and indulge your love for genuine Inuk-crafted figurines, artwork, and clothing at your convenience. Going to the grocery store? Waiting for your meal to be served at the restaurant? These items are brought to you by their artisans for special perusal.
• Of course, if you’d like to fly up to Iqaluit, it’ll cost you round about $1300 for a return trip from Iqaluit-Ottawa. I highly recommend that one rather than the Iqaluit-Montreal flight, which often overnights unexpectedly in Kugaaruk.
• A caribou herd used to migrate through town. Yes, USED to. Eventually, they realized that if they come within eyesight of the town, they WILL be shot.
• On a regular day, the town shuts down between noon and one o’clock for lunch. That means you can pretty well time the traffic jam on the four corners.
• Rather than snow days, there are “freezing days” in Iqaluit. If it gets too cold, the town shuts down.

Luckily, I still love my boyfriend despite all this (he’s the reason I moved up here to begin with). If you’d like to find me on the web, look in these places:

Twitter - (I promise not to tweet your ear off about the delights of Iqaluit… mostly)

Facebook

My website

My blog

Thanks for having me, Denise!

You're so welcome, Linds!

Guest Post: Simple Pleasures

Today I am welcoming a guest blogger as part of the Won't You Be My Neighbour series started by The Never True Tales. The idea is to visit other blogs and get to know some of the talented people out there. I will be posting over at Coffee and Commutes and hope to see you there.

In the meantime, I am thrilled that my first blog guest is my friend, Leanne from My Window On The Journey. Leanne and I met in university and though we have never lived in the same province since then, she has remained a close friend. She has always been able to inspire me and I'm thrilled to have her here today.

Simple Pleasures
The sound of a quiet car after the kids all hop out of it at school. My favourite chair and a good book. The warmth of the fireplace on a cold winter night. The smell of hot cocoa before the first sip. A leisurely breakfast out with a friend. Decorating a birthday cake. A blank page waiting to be filled. Noisy chatter filling the house when the kids get home from school. Waking up wrapped in my hubby’s arms. The light in my children’s eyes when they have something exciting to share with me. Cheesecake. Kissing my kids’ warm cheeks after they are fast asleep. Family game night. Romantic movies. Bubble baths.

Simple pleasures.

Life is not easy. In fact sometimes it is really hard. Last week I had a hard week. There wasn’t just one thing that turned my world upside down, but a bunch of things piled on top of each other to do a real number on my mindset. I became so focused on all those little and not-so-little things, that I found myself in a slump that I wasn’t sure how I would escape. But I did. I prayed a lot. I consciously tried to refocus my mind. I became aware of how profoundly my mindset can affect every part of me. And I realized that my mindset is my choice. I can allow negative thoughts to control every minute of my day, or I can take back control and reorient my mind.

I have so many blessings in my life, and counting blessings is truly a way to change a negative mindset. Sometimes, however, reciting to myself the list of obvious blessings in my life can feel a little bit stale. Yes, I know I have an awesome husband, but he drives me crazy sometimes! I know my kids are amazing, but sometimes they drain every ounce of strength I have! My house is beautiful and it’s in a great neighbourhood, but it isn’t my dream house! I have wonderful family and friends, even here in Ontario, but I miss the ones I left in New Brunswick! Sound a little bitter? That’s what happens when I fall into that state of mind.

When that happens, like last week, I find I need to really micromanage my mindset. I need to break things down to the very simplest things in my life that make me happy. When I focus on those things, my attitude starts to change. I realize that my life is full of a million wonderful things every single day! The list above contains fifteen simple pleasures, and I have experienced each one of them at some point in the last week. Six of them I have experienced already today! Not only does this realization create a positive outlook in my mind, but it fills my heart with profound gratitude.

So I think that’s the key, at least for me. I would encourage you to try it. If you are struggling with a negative mindset, if you are feeling overwhelmed by worry or responsibility or dissatisfaction, make a list! What are your simple pleasures? Simple things that don’t cost money, or not much anyway. Simple daily pleasures that surround you even though you may not always notice. Once you see how many there are in your life, you can’t help but be positive and, even more importantly, grateful.

Cooking something new for my family. Stormy days when I don’t have to go anywhere. Hugs. A family bike ride. Walks on the beach. A visit with an old friend. The first flowers of spring. A good report card. A baby’s smile. Autumn leaves. Book club. French vanilla cappuccino. Reading to my kids. Writing a guest post for a friend’s blog…

Simple pleasures.

NaBlo Week 1 Round Up

The first week of November closes and I have met some new and wonderful bloggers. This is of course in addition to the  wonderful bloggers I already knew. Some of my favourite blogs to read this week have been the following.

Mary Lynn's posts on Haiku and music: http://ridinginahandbasket.blogspot.com/

Poetry and motherhood in Ottawa: http://capitalmom.blogspot.com/

The beautiful chaos of http://stay-at-home-mayhem.blogspot.com/

Paul's post on living the dash: http://quoteflections.blogspot.com/2010/11/im-featured-at-wow.html

Andrea's Go Alice series at http://andreacarlisle.com/

A couple of writers: http://addktd2books.blogspot.com/
and the young, talented, on-her-way up writer and my former fellow writers group member, Lindsay at http://lbelow.blogspot.com/

And then there are my faves:
Finola http://www.finolablog.com/
The Mindful Merchant http://themindfulmerchant.ca/ (who has a bunch more for me to check out!)
Leanne http://mywindowonthejourney.blogspot.com/
Christine http://mywindowonthejourney.blogspot.com/
Jana http://anattitudeadjustment.com/

There's more...so many more. So many blogs, so little time!

About Me

Most of the people who follow this blog have done so for a while and know me pretty well. Or they are friends of mine from way back who know me really well. Or they are family who know all the embarrasing stories I have never told.

But it's NaBloPoMo and one of my goals is to attract new readers, new followers. And some of those people don't know me. I thought perhaps it was agood time to throw this one out there.

So this is me, sitting on the stone wall in my garden last week. Just before snow covered up all those deliciously golden leaves that made me feel rich whenever I walked outdoors. One of my three kids took it while we were outside tossing balls for the dog. And being less energetic than they are, I decided to watch for a bit.

We live on a farm. 50 acres of rolling hills and forest, and a river at the edge of the property. We have endangered cattle and sheep - enough of them that they pay for themselves, and not so many that we don't know most of their names. Our farmhouse was built in 1837, and features a massive stone hearth that takes up the heart of the kitchen. We renovate. Constantly.

I read. A lot. I have been in a slump lately as my book club will attest to, but on average I get through 4-5 books a month. And that's just for pleasure. As a fiction editor, I read a great deal more than that - usually at least 10 partials and 2-3 full manuscripts every single week. 

And I teach at the local college. Communications. Business writing. Hoping to teach a self-editing course one of these days when I have time to organize a course outline.

And of course I write. Poetry, short stories, essays. And this blog, where I ramble on about whatever suits me: the kids, the animals, the family, books, food, and other miscellaneous topics.

So if you're here for moral support, thanks for dropping by. And if you are new, leave a comment with your URL so I can find you and visit your blog.

Kick Start and Kick Off

I'm committed.

It was a chance remark on twitter by Finola that got me going. She was participating in NaBloPoMo (National Blogging Post Month for those of not familiar with this rather wordy abbreviation, and sort of a sister to the more ambitious NaNoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month), and was inviting our support. The goal is to write a blog post every single day during the month of November, and is a terrific forum for new bloggers who want to establish themselves, and seasoned bloggers who may need a little push.

What better way to show my support, I thought, than to join her! (Her idea of celebrating with wine at the end of the month had nothing to do with influencing me, nothing!)

So I cajoled my friend, Leanne, and got her on board, and I let the Twitterverse know my plans and politely requested begged them to cheer me on.

To be honest, it's kind of a kick start. I have neglected my blog lately and though I'm starting to pay more attention, I really needed something to motivate me to pick up the momentum. I also want to discover some new blogs. It's been a while since I was out there reading and searching and commenting and blogging, and there's a real thrill in that - in finding someone who says just the right thing at the right time to make you smile or laugh or cry or think about the world just a little differently.
I'm excited and motivated and ready to go. Get ready, get set...

Apologies

I apologize....

to Finola, to the Mindful Merchant, to Leanne, Lindsay, Cyndi, Christine.

And to a bunch of other wonderful bloggers out there.

I've been reading your blogs regularly. I love them. It makes me happy to see a new post up. But I've been too busy to sign in, to leave comments, to engage with you. It's not a good excuse, but it's the one I have.

I know that you have all left comments on my blog, and I appreciate it I really do. And it reminds me that I need to find the time to write back because this blogging thing is not a one way relationship.

I apologize also...

to my readers....those of you who I know are out there who don't leave comments, as well as those of you who do sometimes (hello, Julie, Keitha).

My blog posts have beer erratic lately. I know this. I have good intentions. I have lots of things to say, pictures I can use, stories to tell.

Recently, there have been many new things taking up my time. I'm not quite ready to divulge, but it's an exciting, whirlwind, chaotic time for me. And it has meant that something had to give...this time around it is this blog.

But if you can bear with me another month or two; if you can tolerate the sketchy posting and forgive me for the lack of meaningful interaction, I promise it will get better.

Happiness

I was motivated by Christine at Coffee and Commutes to write about happiness. Ever since reading her blog post yesterday, I have been singing this song from You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown. And I think it really gets to the heart of what happiness is:

Happiness is finding a pencil,
Pizza with Sausage,
Telling the time.
Happiness is learning to whistle,
Tying your shoes for the very first time.
Happiness is playing the drums in your own school band
And happiness is walking hand-in-hand.


Happiness is two kinds of ice cream,
Knowing a secret,
Climbing a tree
Happiness is five different crayons,
Catching a firefly,
Setting him free.
Happiness is being alone every now and then,
And happiness is coming home again


Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all
That’s loved by you.

We often speak of happiness as being elusive, as being something we need to pursue, to find, to grab hold of when we can because it will slip away again so quickly. We can know we are happy without always feeling it. This is something I've discussed with my book club before - everything is good, everything is happy, but where is that sense of euphoria that we associate with happiness?

When I look around me, at my children, at their friends, at family parties, at the lambs, at the dog - well, the truth is, they are all the epitome of happy. They don't find happiness elusive or hard to find. They just are happy.

It made me wonder, what do they know that we adults don't?

As many of the wonderful comments on Christine's blog point out, happiness is a state of mind. It's never about the big things in life, though they can make us happy (think a wedding, a baby's birth). In fact it is often the smallest things that bring the most happiness to our lives. And I think where kids (and yes the lambs and even the dog) have the edge on us is that they are not trying to capture happiness. It's like sand, the harder you try to clench your hand around it, the more it escapes. 
Perhaps in our adult world where (let's face it) there are so many other things to think about - what's for dinner? did I sign those forms? why doesn't he want to go to music camp? how can I squeeze in a trip to the dentist between school and karate? - it's easier to lose track of the present moment. And happiness is all about being present in the moment.

Think about the moments that have truly made you happy recently? For me it's not the raise at work, or the editing contract I got. It's not paying off the car loan, or even the new windows I'm finally putting in my ancient farmhouse. Rather, it's other smaller, more important things:

• the sun that streams through the window in the morning;
• the single cup thermos of coffee my husband always leaves for me next to the bed despite the fact that he gets up and leaves at 4:30 am every morning;
• saying good morning to the cows, sheep, llama and sheep dog as I cross the field for my morning run;
• getting morning hugs, kisses, artwork, from the children, and those moments when we amuse ourselves so much that we fall over in a big laughing heap together;
• watching the kids play and laugh and run, all long limbs and smiles;
• watching the lambs skipping, seeing the daffodils poking through the dirt, and feeling the breeze blow gently across the veranda.
• the taste of a glass of shiraz on a Friday evening; the pleasure of a new book and a weekend ahead
• brushing my children's freshly washed hair and telling stories together before tucking them into bed
• the quiet of the house when everyone is asleep and safe and together

Wouldn't it be great if we could get everyone to stop and think about what makes them happy? Christine challenged her readers to write their own happiness post, and I'm going to do the same. You know who you are. Don't forget to leave a comment on Christine's blog too.

Blogging Blues

I have taken the past two weeks off blogging. Partly because it's been very hectic with corporate meetings at work, and getting ready for the last few weeks of executive activity with the boards I am on. Also, spring planting is here, which means there is lots to do outside, and Andrew is working longer hours to get it all done.

But more than that, I have been feeling zapped of energy and the thought of blogging seemed to lose its appeal.

I mean it's not as if I blog about important world issues or time-sensitive events. For the most part, I blog about things that are only really of interest to me and my immediate family. It seems - at times - kind of self-serving and even conceited to blog, and I started to wonder what the point was...who else is really interested, for example, in a story on my son's fascination with Julius Caesar..?


Exactly.

And yet, truth be told, most of the people who read this do so because they know me and actually are interested. I read blogs of people I know for the same reason - it makes me feel connected to their lives just that little bit more.

I missed blogging too. Probably because it has become a more public substitute for the journals I have kept for the past 25 years, and I find it calming and restorative to write.

So back to the blog.

Why Moms Blog...let me count the ways!

All moms that I know are busy moms. How we find the time to blog always amazes me. But why we blog...! There are a hundred reasons.

We blog because we want friends and family around the world to get a snapshot of our daily lives. We blog because we have stories to share and pictures to show that we don't want to keep to ourselves. We blog about extraordinary achievements- and sometimes we blog about ordinary moments just to celebrate the importance of everyday life.

We blog because we have something to say, or sometimes because we just need to vent . We blog because we know our families are unique and because at the same time we need to know that we're not the only family in the world whose sweet children are sometimes disgusting or who have lambs living in the kitchen.

We blog because we need advice, or because we've found a way to do something that makes our lives easier and want to pass it on. We blog because forgotten lunches, messy houses, and lost homework are real and in this great crazy world, it's good to know we're all in this together, and that no matter what we do or say or feel, we can find reassurance that the kids will all okay as long as they are loved. We blog because we know that we can learn from each other, and because any community - even an internet one - is a positive thing.

If you're reading this, check out some other members of this great big community at Blog Party 09 hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom. Bloggers will link from that site to their own blog where there will be a post telling you a little about themselves with links. Take a look around, and enjoy.