Soundless Golden Bells Alone In The Storm

Detail

by Al Purdy

The ruined stone house

has an elderly apple tree

left there by the farmer

whatever else he took with him

It bears fruit every year

gone wild and wormy

with small bitter apples

nobody eats

even children know better

I passed that way on the road

to Trenton twice a month

all winter long

noticing how the apples clung

in spite of hurricane winds

sometimes with caps of snow

little golden bells

And perhaps none of the other

travelers looked that way

but I make no parable of them

they were there and that’s all

for some reason I must remember

and think of the leafless tree

and its fermented fruit

one week in late January

when wind blew down the sun

and earth shook like a cold room

no one could live in

with zero weather

soundless golden bells

alone in the storm

All For One and One For All

Let's just say that we like Musketeers around our house. It started years ago when Erik was 4 and we rented the Mickey Mouse version (which was better than I expected and makes great use of well known pieces of classical music). The Musketeer's Battle Cry All For One and One For All became our mantra, and to this day we say it as the school bus rolls into view, the kids and I holding out our imaginary swords and no doubt giving the neighbours a giggle into the bargain.

It's one of our favourite movies and favourite books, and tonight the kids are graduating to The Man In The Iron Mask which features the musketeers, older and wiser but still ready for action.

It got me thinking about the Musketeers, and how distinct each of them are. Erik's favourite is Athos, of course. The leader. The intelligent one. The aristocrat. The one who looks most like young Obi Wan Kenobi. Anna likes Aramis - poet, dreamer, idealist. Grace likes Porthos because he's always laughing (her words). And of course all three like D'Artagnan: Erik because he's heroic, the girls because (in the 1993 movie at least) he's young and cute.

It made me wonder if perhaps knowing which of the Musketeers you like best gives some insight into your personality, kind of like one of those Facebook quizes that claims to  understand you based on what colour you like, or what car you drive (Red, and a mini van, if you want to know).

Which of the Musketeers do I like best? Is it fun-loving, life-embracing Porthos?Perhaps the intelligent but brooding and melancholic Athos? Maybe Aramis with his poetic character, inner strength and private nature? Or is it brave and impetuous young D'Artagnan?

I'll leave you guessing while I try to figure it out. Meanwhile, which musketeer do you prefer? And Why?

The Homework Debate

Lots of people arguing right now over whether homework is good or bad for kids, whether it’s useful or just a waste of time that gets in the way of other fun activities.


Here’s what I think:

1. Homework can be tough on families, especially these days when both parents work and the kids go to after-school programs. When the family gets home at 6pm and has to fit in homework between supper and running out to Cubs, the kitchen can quickly become a battlefield where nobody wins.

2. Some of the homework kids get is, let’s face it, silly. I completely identify with the lawyer parents who started this debate when, after questioning the value of the crossword puzzle homework and being told it was for fun, they sent in a note to the teacher that said, thanks, but we’ll make our own fun.

3. Days are short for much of the school year, and kids aren’t getting outside enough. Having hours of homework doesn’t help that.

Having said all that, I agree with homework. I believe it is valuable and an important part of school life, and here’s why:

1. Homework is the bridge between school and home. It allows me (as a parent) to get involved in what my kids are learning, to reinforce lessons learned in class, to see how they are handling new material, and what their strengths and weaknesses are. (Without homework, for example, I would never have known that my 9 year old, in a composition, described the older cat as being pissed off, and would not have had the opportunity to brainstorm more suitable descriptors and remind him that not everything Daddy says should be repeated.)

2. Teachers do a great job, but sometimes kids who are having difficulty in a specific subject benefit from a little one-on-one time with Mom where we can go over trouble areas and figure out how to solve problems in a way that makes sense for that child. And when Grade 4 Math seems just a little elusive, we can send them to Dad. (And what’s with Grade 4 Math anyway – the answers are easy, but the way they want to solve them are so convoluted and unclearly worded that it drives me crazy).

3. Doing homework regularly at a younger age makes the transition into high school much easier, and establishes solid study/work habits that will help them later in life.

Homework should never be about new work. It should not take up too much of a child’s time (I think the 10 minute per grade rule is good). I like the younger grade (K-3) approach our school uses where they send homework for the week, and allow parents to figure out when and where it gets done, allowing us to schedule around Cubs, Karate, and days when we just want to go outside and play.

For the most part though, at least at our house, homework is a priority. I know it, the kids know it, and their teachers know it. Sure, we’ve had days when I’ve written a note to my son’s teacher saying I told him to leave his homework, and I don’t apologize if I decide to bury the kids in fallen leaves one glorious afternoon instead of making them sit at a table practicing spelling. And some nights there just isn’t time for one reason or another.

But I get tired of the debate that it has to be all or nothing. Like so much in life, it’s all about finding a balance that works so that work and fun happen side by side.

Weekend Highlights

On Friday night, after Christmas shopping for the myriad of nieces and nephews I would see Saturday, I took my three into Chapters where we bought books (of course) and waited for Andrew who had driven deeper into Montreal to pick up a motor. The absolute highlight of my weekend (with a few exceptions that I'll get to in a minute) was sitting in the Chapters Starbucks overlooking the hum and bustle of the bookstore, drinking the Mezzo Latte that I bought (along with some overpriced but apparently delicious Orange juice for the kids), the four of us reading at a small table in companionable silence.

Heaven! Bliss! Peace and quiet and books.

The weekend went rapidly downhill after that - though I'm calling it an adventure, rather than a disaster in order to make it seem more fun than it was.

But we did finally get to Toronto. We did finally get to see the rest of the family, albeit briefly.

Which brings me to those other highlights of the weekend I was talking about:

Isabella - all baby smiles and roly poly dimples

Rhys - 2 years old with all the attitude and adorable grins that go with it

Naomi - all grown up at almost 6

Michael - another 2 year old who warmed up to me enough to let me read him books. I taught him to growl like a polar bear

Emma - lovely 10 year old with a quiet nature

Ethan - well, all newborns are perfect

And of course, my own three kids, who despite a long and trying weekend, were amazing. I had better say that now because in 20 minutes I'm going to have to rouse them out of bed for school, and odds on that after their long and trying weekend, they're just a little cranky.

History Mystery: Queen of Castile

1451-1504

Married to the King of Aragon, but Queen in her own right, she and her husband unified Spain. She spent much of their reign purifying the Catholic Faith, and is renowned for her institution of the Spanish Inquisition in 1480,  and the slow expulsion of the Spanish Moors (Muslims).

She sponsored Christopher Columbus' voyages to the New World and was sympathetic to the North American Natives who were brought back as slaves.

Widely read and well educated herself, she insisted on the same for her sons and her daughter.

Although she died without an heir, she was grandmother to one of the great tragic Queens of England.

Who Is She?

Monday Answer: Queen Isabella I, also known as Isabella the Catholic, also known as the mother of Katherine of Aragon (1st wife to Henry VIII) and grandmother to Queen Mary I (later known as Bloody Mary).

Leanne, I thought you said you didn't know your history... nice guess then.

I picked this one in honour of my beautiful 3 month old niece, Isabella, who I went to visit in Toronto this weekend.

Money, Money, Money

So here I am feeling sorry for myself because one of the cars blew up the other day and it’s going to cost four times more than I first anticipated because of damage to the motor.

Yeah, that’s a bite. And yeah, it’s going to hurt a bit.

We could buy a new one, I suppose, but one of Andrew’s endearingly eccentric traits is that he prefers old cars, and in fact in the 15 years I have known him has never had a new car. An ancient Jeep, a practically classic Bronco, a series of old VW Rabbits, a collection of vintage trucks, and now the 12 year old Golf he currently drives.

We live in the country and we need two vehicles, and either way, we pay: Either payments on a new vehicle or repairs on an old. In the end, we come out more or less at the same place. The difference is that with a new car the payments are more or less scheduled, whereas with the old car they hit you with unpredictable vigour.

I admit, the news was enough to make me a bit glum. I’m a bit of a scrooge when it comes to money. Not in terms of everyday expenses - no holds barred when it comes to food and wine, or kids’ activities for example. But in terms of saving….different matter! The first thing I do every paycheck is divert money into the savings account, and once it’s there, I hoard it. Theoretically we do have a short term savings account especially for emergencies like car breakdowns, but I don’t actually plan to spend it. This drives Andrew crazy. We are diametrically opposed in our approach to savings. I want to keep it, keep it all, and he feels if it is there, it is there to spend.

Of course, when it comes to the car, there’s little choice. So when faced with having to pay out money I’m not anticipating, I have a bit of an anxiety attack, then I take out my excel budget and retool it so see how to replace the money I have to spend and how quickly I can do this.

Then I start to throw crazy ideas around. Like We’ll stop having Pizza Hut on Friday nights, and We’ll cancel the cleaning lady, and (craziest of all) We’ll stop drinking wine. And Andrew ignores me because he knows I’m all talk – none of those things are actually going to happen.

Finally I realize (as any sane person would have right from the start) that it’s not in fact the end of the world. So we have to spend money on the car….at least we have a car. So we have to take some money out of the savings account…but we do actually have a savings account. In a period of economic uncertainty we have rewarding jobs and good incomes. When 800,000 families are forced to use foodbanks, we eat like kings every day and have two freezers stocked with every kind of food imaginable.

I started off feeling sorry for myself. That has evaporated now. We may not be rich, but we're doing okay. I am off to the grocery store tonight to pick up a week’s worth of groceries in canned and dry goods, and I’m going to take them to the local foodbank. I’m sorting out a bunch of kids’ snowsuits and boots for the Salvation Army. We’re going to put together some Christmas Boxes. And perhaps best of all, I’m going to take the opportunity to count my blessings.

You Know You've Lived In The Country Long Enough When...

...you smile when the snow arrives because it will fill in all the pot holes on the roads and make your drive to work smoother;

...you've stopped cleaning the back windshield every time you get in the car because it will just be covered in mud and dust again by the time you get to your destination;

...you take the dog for a 20 minute walk and don't bother telling the kids because you're just outside on the property;

...you don't even blink at the $400 worth of gravel it takes to grade your driveway every spring;

...you've traded in your gym membership for a half hour daily chopping wood because it's a more practical way to exercise;

...you've learned about substitutes for every food imaginable just so you don't have to run the 20km into town every time you're missing an ingredient;

...you think it makes perfect sense to stockpile six months worth of food in the cellar;

...you think wellies are an important part of your wardrobe;


...you keep extra wellies (rubber boots) around for when guests come to visit and want to see the sheep;

...you recognize your neighbours by the tractor they drive;

...you give directions using compass bearings and local landmarks (as in turn North at the rock shaped like a rooster;

...you've been known to weed the garden or shovel the steps in your pyjamas in the morning because no-one can see you anyway.